Compassionate

In spite of COVID, this year I’ve had several breakthroughs that I have been asking God about for years. There have been numerous people and groups that have helped me along the way. But I’m learning that the biggest factor is that I decided that I was willing to go through the pain and make the effort to get well. God is compassionate and won’t force it on us. 

I’ve always wanted a close relationship with God, seeing visions, dreams, and hearing from Him. Jesus said I needed to do the healing above to get it. Last fall after working on my recovery for a few months I finally started hearing him and seeing short snippets of pictures that I knew didn’t come from me. At first it startled me because they usually weren’t during a prayer or devotional time
 
I’m finally recovering from the orphan spirit that I have dealt with my whole life. I’m actually able to internalize that I am His beloved and that I am a Child of God. For years that was the cry of my heart. That it would go from my head to my heart. But it didn’t start until I decided to deal with my issues.
​
The first 10 days of March I had so many visions and revelations from God I was getting overwhelmed. I called it my waterfall. I was ecstatic and didn’t want it to end. Then COVID hit & it stopped. The reason it stopped so long was that I wasn’t listening to God on that subject. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong. Well, I was doing something wrong, but not what I expected Jesus to say. About a month ago, God convicted me of worshiping experiences instead of HIM. OUCH!

And then, just last week, I got my latest piece of healing about a former church. And boy, it's brought a lot of peace. I've now forgiven everyone who hurt me there. When I told my husband, Chad, he saw the last piece of the onion fall off. It was the anger & bitterness I had with the situation & anyone that I perceived as hurtful towards me. Just because I felt wounded doesn't mean they meant it that way or that they even know they hurt me. It's amazing how much healing I've had in the last year. Now, I’ve said those words for years, but now I’m living it and actually believe them.

None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to get well.  So, I encourage you. Ask God what He wants you to work on, not what someone else says you need to work on or even what you think you need to work on. 
​
Remember that God, in his compassion, really wants the best for you. These aren’t just nice sounding pat Christianese words. IT IS A REALITY. GOD LOVES YOU!!!

Peggy Allen
August, 2020